Jamie's Italian kitchen Glasgow

At last! As unbelievable as this may sound I actually have nothing but good things to say about a place! After blagging a couple of tickets to Jamie Oliver's new Glasgow eatery's test day I have to say I wasn't expecting anything special, but then again I'm a grumpy little bastard and I never do...

Initial thoughts were, shall we say, confused. The inner decor was a mash up between a Russian factory and a Parisian bakery but somehow it actually worked and the staff seemed warm and friendly, with a surprising amount of tattoos on display. It just felt really relaxed to be honest which is unusual for a busy restaurant in Glasgow city centre, especially during a test run opening.

I opted for some kind of mushroom 'rice-ball' thingy's with garlic and tomato dip for my starter and garlic tagliatelle for my main course and I have to say that if it wasn't for the horrific hangover I was still suffering from the day before then it may have been the best meal I've had all year, definitely an eight out of ten! The food was well cooked and tasty and the service was friendly and prompt, as far as prices go it is a bit expensive but no more than any other restaurant round that area of the city center. Dino's is probably more expensive and this stuff beats the shit out of Dino's...hands down! In quality if not quantity though as my only slight gripe was that the portions themselves aren't more than a handful, but if you like 'em bigger ( and most of us boys do...) then you could always just opt for the larger portion, it's almost double the price but by god you won't leave that building hungry.Unless you're a big, greedy fat bastard that is, or maybe you just have a 'thyroid' problem...fatty..

THE 13TH NOTE GLASGOW

On 2 July 2010, a couple of handsome young motherfuckers were subjected to a horrifying experience when a scruffy looking emo-bartender mistakenly 'mislaid' one of their fivers and gave them change of a fifteen pound note, rather than the twenty they had paid with. He then proceeded to waste a whole 25 minutes of their time with excuses, cheek, lies and suspicious sideways glances... That's 25 minutes drinking time they will never get back. The horror!!

Unfortunately for the shithole in question, this was not the beginning of a standard Glaswegian drinking binge, oh no. This was a visit from one of the EMS crew and they had just tried to screw-over the wrong person...

The hero of our tale visited the bar and innocently handed over a twenty pound note for a bottle of cider and a pint of lager, totalling £6.60. Not that cheap but to be honest, not that bad for the city centre either. His change was £8.40. Obviously a mistake, unless the government had started printing fifteen pound notes when he was in the toilet earlier, offloading the last of last nights 'curry-beast' taco.

The simple looking barman couldn't quite grasp this concept though and what started as a simple complaint turned into a confusing argument resulting in the till being counted twice (with two different outcomes) and the barman lying and stating that he was the manager. Three separate phone numbers for the owner were eventually provided and the owner was finally contacted at home. All this for a fucking fiver!!

It was only after the full argument (in which the idiot bartender started ranting about how our luckless reporter was personally calling him a thief) that our resident assistant manager thought he would get in on the debate too, proclaiming in amazement, 'How could he give you change of a fifteen pound note??? That’s just mental!!'

You’re absolutely right man, that is fucking mental and that's the problem we had found ourselves facing! It was only on the way out of the door that we realised our 'ass manager' (tee-hee) was actually sitting listening to his staff member lie, bullshit and generally be a cunt to a customer with a genuine grievance without doing anything about it! That's a fucking great job you’re doing there dude, keep up the good work. Those fucking newspapers at the end of the bar won’t read themselves you know!

So basically, if you want to go to a dusty looking, shitty old bar that thinks its far too cool for school and pay over the odds for your booze and cardboard-like all-vegan food, then this is the place for you. As an added bonus there's also the chance that you'll be short changed, abused by the staff and treated like a plague victim if you don't suit their 'image' (an assortment of which is below).



P.S.  On a vague and unimportant side-note, the owner actually called our guy back the next day and said that the till was five bucks over so he was right and they were wrong (nya-nya nya nya nya!!). She still had the balls to claim that he didn't handle the situation well and had totally over-reacted!!

You’re absolutely right, he apologises unreservedly. he didn't handle getting money stolen from him, being lied to and insulted very well at all. If he had handled it correctly then he would have dragged the little bastard out into the street and beat the ever-loving shit out of him...i know that's what i would have done.
But i am taking medication to stop those notions....